The other night I was laying the twins down for bed. They each have their own beds, but share a room. This night was like any normal night. I had spent almost 30 minutes reading books, singing bedtime songs, tucking everyone in, and kissing little faces. As I was tucking Levi in I noticed that he was scowling at me. For anyone who knows Levi he doesn't hide his emotions very well, in fact you can read his face like billboard! Sitting back down on his bed, even though all I really wanted to do was tuck myself in, I asked him "What's wrong?" Looking at me with his big blue eyes he held his arms out. So I reached for him, pulled him close and hugged him ONE more time. He held tight and then a thought came to me...had I held him today, really held him? I hadn't. I had kissed and hugged. I had lugged him around. I had fed him, bathed him, and all the things moms do, but I hadn't taken time to hold him. I propped him in my lap and rocked him. We sang a few more bedtime songs and we cuddled for a while longer. It was nice to slow down and be intentional about it.
Often times, I am doing the "mom stuff" and haven't taken the time to just be with them seperately. I ususally feel pulled in many directions in my life and when we're home just trying to get ahead on the laundry and keep the house clean feels daunting some days. The other thing I find with the little boys is I do less one on one with them than with their older singleton sibling. It's not that it's my desire, but mainly because wherever we go and whatever we're doing I find we do it together. Sometimes for convenience, sometimes out of my desire to keep things "fair", and sometimes out of habit.
The fairness thing really gets to me at times. I try to do for one what I do for the other. This is probably not unusual for any parent with more than child, but I think it can amplified with multiples. The boys have never expressed a concern for me being fair, it's mainly my own hang up. When I start to think like this I remind myself that they are individuals with different needs sometimes. While I was rocking Levi that night, Liam was content playing with his little trains on his pillow. He didn't give it a second thought. When they were infants we kept them on a schedule and it worked very well for all of us. It kept me sane and helped the whole family. So I'm in a habit of just doing things with them together. As they've gotten older this habit has carried on and I think that breaking the norm is going to be good for them and us.
So how to do I go about it. Making one on one time with each little one doesn't have to be hard. I don't have to take them out each time or make big plans to make it meaningful. My plan is to make tweaks to our daily lives. Yes, we can do the occasional one on one trip to the park or the play area at Chick Filet, but these things are more special than simple every day tweaks. My idea is this, to get our one on one time in by simply changing a few of our daily routines. Like giving them baths separately or letting them stay up a little longer while the others go on to bed. Having Jo watch a movie with one little guy in the living room while I read or play with our other little guy in another room. I think I'll have to be a little creative sometimes, but I'm looking forward to it. I enjoy seeing our children's different personalities and with as fast as their growing lately I don't want to miss it. The laundry will always be there, the dishes keep on coming, but time with these precious kids sneaks by too fast!
I would love for you to share what you do to get your one on one time with your kiddos. Have you had to get creative? What's your favorite thing about it? Let me know and leave a comment!
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