A Beautiful Vue-Winter Roadtrip

My vue on our way home from visiting family.  We left early Monday morning to be back to work and school stuff that needed to preped.  We had a pretty eventful trip in the 6 hours it takes to get home.   Everything from a flat tire at 5:30 in the morning to not one but two car sick episodes.  The word "projectile" was used!   By the end of the trip J and I just had to laugh and joke about it.  But this picture captures a peaceful in between moment, when all the kids slept quietly and we were able to enjoy it.  We made some memories for sure!  Happy Friday!

Motherhood is Calling & it Isn't what You Think!

 

There are about as many different types of people in this world as there are grains of sand.  Deep I know, but truth right?  Well you could say that same phrase about mothers too.  I don't care what the parenting magazines say, there's not 5 different types of mothers and you can't just take a 2 minute quiz to figure it out.   Some mothers are just naturally nurturers who find their passion in doing the mommy stuff and being home all the time. While another mother finds her passion outside the home all the while still caring and loving her children with passion and zeal.   Be careful not to let what others think a mother should look like determine how you feel about your own motherhood.  Mothers look different in every situation.  Don't compare yourself to another woman.  You'll only pick yourself apart and rob yourself of joy that you could be spreading to your family.  Relax and rest in this, if you are somebody's mother then God has equipped you with everything you will need to be the mother He designed you to be.   You just have to believe it.   I think that motherhood isn't just for those of us with children, but for all women.

A mother isn't just someone who gives birth to you or who just sees to the well being of those in her family.  Motherhood isn't tied to blood lines and physical attributes.   Knowing what kind of mother you are boils down to one simple thing...love.  Not the gushy, sweet kind of love, but the I'm here for the long haul, never giving up on you kind of love.  I like the gushy sweet stuff, but that's really the perks of being a mother I think.  The committed love is what motherhood is built on.  It's choosing to put others before yourself in all things.  Motherhood is saying I choose to love you, whether I gave birth to you or whether someone else did.  I choose to love you whether or not you'll love me back,  whether or not you deserve it, and whether or not you do things I think you should.  You don't have to have children to be a mother.  Motherhood is even sometimes the women who come into our lives as adults and guide us gently through the muck and the mundane.  Who spend time with us, sowing wisdom and health into our hearts.   Helping us in the hurts and lifting us up to be better women!  They say "I've been where you are and I've seen that.  You can do it.  Don't give up!  Stay the course."  All the while choosing to love us when we're not their own.   

All mother's have one thing in common, we're women.  So as women lets lift each other up.  Let's commit to only seeing the good in each other, only speaking the good about each other, and only helping each other to rise above the things that hold us back.  Not everyone is meant to be best friends, but we are meant to love and encourage and build each other up.   I know that some of us have had bad experiences when it comes to relationships with other women.  I think most everyone has a mean girl story or that gossipy, backstabby friend who cut you down, but that's when forgiveness can help you heal and love will pull you through.

1 Peter 4:8

 Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others].(AMP)

With a new year in front of us this is the perfect time to start fresh in how we think about ourselves and other people.  It will make difference in our lives when choose to love others and ourselves.  It will make us better wives, mothers, friends, workers, business owners, and better women.  Isn't that what we want?  To come up and over things all while bringing others with us.  Life isn't just about being alive, but living it to it's fullest.  True happiness is found in truly loving others and that's what motherhood is all about.

Twinsie Tuesday: One on One Time

The other night I was laying the twins down for bed.  They each have their own beds, but share a room.  This night was like any normal night.  I had spent almost 30 minutes reading books, singing bedtime songs, tucking everyone in, and kissing little faces.  As I was tucking Levi in I noticed that he was scowling at me.  For anyone who knows Levi he doesn't hide his emotions very well, in fact you can read his face like billboard!  Sitting back down on his bed, even though all I really wanted to do was tuck myself in, I asked him "What's wrong?"  Looking at me with his big blue eyes he held his arms out.  So I reached for him, pulled him close and hugged him ONE more time.  He held tight and then a thought came to me...had I held him today, really held him?  I hadn't.  I had kissed and hugged.  I had lugged him around.  I had fed him, bathed him, and all the things moms do, but I hadn't taken time to hold him.  I propped him in my lap and rocked him.  We sang a few more bedtime songs and we cuddled for a while longer.  It was nice to slow down and be intentional about it.

Often times, I am doing the "mom stuff" and haven't taken the time to just be with them seperately.  I ususally feel pulled in many directions in my life and when we're home just trying to get ahead on the laundry and keep the house clean feels daunting some days.  The other thing I find with the little boys is I do less one on one with them than with their older singleton sibling.  It's not that it's my desire, but mainly because wherever we go and whatever we're doing I find we do it together.  Sometimes for convenience, sometimes out of my desire to keep things "fair", and sometimes out of habit.  

The fairness thing really gets to me at times.  I try to do for one what I do for the other.  This is probably not unusual for any parent with more than child, but I think it can amplified with multiples.  The boys have never expressed a concern for me being fair, it's mainly my own hang up.  When I start to think like this I remind myself that they are individuals with different needs sometimes.  While I was rocking Levi that night, Liam was content playing with his little trains on his pillow.  He didn't give it  a second thought.  When they were infants we kept them on a schedule and it worked very well for all of us.  It kept me sane and helped the whole family.    So I'm in a habit of just doing things with them together.  As they've gotten older this habit has carried on and I think that breaking the norm is going to be good for them and us.  

So how to do I go about it.  Making one on one time with each little one doesn't have to be hard.  I don't have to take them out each time or make big plans to make it meaningful.  My plan is to make tweaks to our daily lives.  Yes, we can do the occasional one on one trip to the park or the play area at Chick Filet, but these things are more special than simple every day tweaks.  My idea is this, to get our one on one time in  by simply changing a few of our daily routines.  Like giving them baths separately or letting them stay up a little longer while the others go on to bed.  Having Jo watch a movie with one little guy in the living room while I read or play with our other little guy in another room.  I think I'll have to be a little creative sometimes, but I'm looking forward to it.  I enjoy seeing our children's different personalities and with as fast as their growing lately I don't want to miss it.  The laundry will always be there, the dishes keep on coming, but time with these precious kids sneaks by too fast!  

I would love for you to share what you do to get your one on one time with your kiddos.  Have you had to get creative?  What's your favorite thing about it?  Let me know and leave a comment!  

Dare Not to Compare

Photo Credit

Oh mornings...I AM a morning person but not the kind who get up with zeal to start my day.  It's more like a slow go, most mornings.  I don't get all  my chores and tasks done before noon.  I enjoy the new day, the coffee, and the snuggling with my kiddos!  I have read that successful people get the majority of their work finished in the mornings and that is AMAZING to me.  Really!  It is on the mental list of changes I'd like to see in my life.  Actually, as a mom I know other moms who do this and I'm in awe...but that awe usually turns into comparison and leaves me feeling like I'm not measuring up.  Can you relate to that feeling?  Maybe not with that particular example, but what about something else?

I know I am guilty of comparing myself with others.  I could write a big fat giant list of things.  I know men and women deal with this issue, but women are probably more vocal and have had longer practice at it.  I know for me it started young, like elementary years young.  Not meeting others, or mainly my own expectations, of how I thought I was supposed to look and act or dress or talk or even worship and pray.  Isn't that ridiculous that worship and prayer makes that list!

Then I enter motherhood and it's a whole new ball game.  There's a million ways to measure yourself when you're a mother.  I've compared myself against the best and the worst, in my eyes, and if I can be candid, sometimes I'll feel better than the other mother, but normally I come out lacking.  My guilty comparison is usually the stylish mom who has it all together.  You've seen her.  She's carrying her kids around while wearing sleek tall heels with not a hair out of place.  Nice.  Then I turn that comparison on myself and that is NOT who I am...I've never been that person...I'm more of a "we made it out the house with everyone in clean clothes and I got to shower today kind of person".  But you know what, that super stylish mom with the "all together look" probably got up extra early and more than likely she probably has her own issues she's dealing with.  

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we look at something or someone and immediately bring out the yard stick?  I think that answer could be different for everyone, but I was thinking that comparison probably stems from insecurities in my own self that's rooted in fear.  Fear of things like rejection, failure, loss, what other people might think or say, fear of the unknown, and I'm sure the list could go on.  But as I'm writing this I know this isn't God's best for any of us...there's actually a promise that he has for us that totally releases us from this way of thinking...

2 Timothy 1:7 

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. (AMP version)

That verse kicks fear out the door and gives US the power to kick fear out the door.  It's our choice if we actually do it.  We no longer have to live in fear.  That doesn't mean once you give fear the boot it wont sit outside your doorstep and knock and whine to be let in.  Again, we have a choice not to open the door.  Did you notice when the fear leaves that we actually get some things to take it's place...power, love, calm, a well balanced mind, discipline, AND self control!  I'm going to have to remind myself of these things.  WOW!  With all those things consistently operating in my thought life I would never compare myself to others again.  That is freedom for us all!

With that said, this year we picked one word to encompass the changes we wanted to see in our lives.  Ours is Peace. How can I have Peace in my life when I compare myself to others?  J and I were talking before the new year about how that's exactly what we want to see dissolve from our lives.  We have let ourselves compare.  That comparison grows more insecurities and chokes our ability to love each other, our kids, and others because the constant thought of not measuring up or making the mark nags at us in the back of our minds. So to have Peace we can not compare.  This last verse brings it home...

Galations 6:4-5

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. 

(The Message)

This verse for me not only reminds me of my purpose, but gives me permission to not care to compare myself with others.   Then I'm free to turn that switch off and focus on what's most important. Which for me is raising healthy boys, cultivating a happy and loved filled marriage, serving and loving an amazing Creator, and loving others like that Creator loves them! 

Sounds good & easy doesn't it?  Well, it is good, it's really really good! But not always easy.  For me I know that just in the last few days since deciding to make a conscious effort not to compare in any way I've had lots of opportunities to do it.  Have I succeeded?  Not every time.  Am I going to quit?  Absolutely not!  When I have failed I just remind myself of how thankful I am for whatever it is that I'm dealing with.  Just recently, last night actually, when one of the twins was very unfriendly with someone and I felt like my parenting skills were lacking a lot, especially when I compared myself to the other parents around me...I had to mentally stop and thank God for my healthy little boy who is currently growing and learning how to respond kindly to others.  Being grateful can help squash the failure feelings. 

One more thing that might help keep comparison out of our lives, try limiting your social media usage.  We live in a time where people post every thought and feeling, every success and failure.  Dozens of pictures flood Facebook feeds and Twitter all day long.  And if you are committed to not allowing those comparison thoughts in at all...shut down your view of those social sites for a while.  Limit how many times you look  at them during the day.  It will help.  I know in my own life that comparison has tried to sneak in through the "I have a clean house, my kids are perfect angels, and there's a tree that grows money in my backyard"  post.   Going on a social media hiatus for even a short time can't hurt the cause and I promise you won't miss much.

Basically, if I want Peace this year in every area of our lives I can't compare myself with others anymore.  So, will you join me?  I dare you...NOT to compare yourself this year anymore! Listen...what's that sound?  It's the sound of my measuring stick breaking!   Get yours out and snap that thing in two.  I don't think you will regret it...I know I wont!

**Leave a comment!  I love to engage with my readers!**
Photo credit Image courtesy of Sattva FreeDigitalPhotos.net

One Word for 2014

The last day of the year has a tendency to make most people think about how the last year went and more than that, puts a focus on the year ahead.  Lists are usually made, tons of blog posts about what we're going to change, maybe what we regret, what we're most grateful for, so on and so on.  I personally know I've done all of the above and more, only to find myself making the same list.  

So after some blog perusing and some talking with my other half I decided that I would pick one word that would encompass my whole list.  Also, encourage and remind me of the changes that I and we as a family want to see.  Now I didn't think of this one word idea on my own, Krystle a blogger that I follow and admire posted about her one word & I was immediately inspired.  You can check out her post here.  Also, there's a whole One Word movement that you can check out at One Word 365.

So what's my one word, right?  Well after looking over the things I want to change and accomplish this year and talking to J about what he sees for us and some things we're doing together I think the word PEACE is perfect in 2014!  

This really cool and totally free "1 Word" 

template came from Only a Breath

I desire to experience more peace in all areas of my life.   More peace in our family life & in raising our very active boys, in our marriage and our relationships, in our finances, and in how I/we approach a healthier lifestyle. The more peace I have in my own life the more I'm able to share it with others.  There's love and freedom in walking in peace.  That's what I want for us as a family & individually.  It's going to good!  

So what's your One Word?  What word inspires and encourages you as this old year comes to a close? I hope this New Year you have peace and prosperity in all areas of your own life.   Be blessed & Happy New Year!

A Beautiful Vue: Our Heart

This photo was  taken by a friend and local photographer.  She's been taking the twins photos since they were very little.  She took these right before Christmas & I love it because it captures our heart as a family. This pose was her creative idea!  It's been a beautiful Christmas Season and I'm grateful for the many amazing blessings, especially these precious boys and my best friend.  A "Beautiful Vue" for sure!

Twinsie Tuesday: I don't know How You do It?!

Being a mother of twins I have heard the statement "I don't know how you do it!" many times.  I was thinking about it today after a challenging morning and I thought, "You know I don't know how I do it"  either!  Someone please cue the violins!  With every new stage comes new challenges and sometimes I don't always feel up for it!  I'm in a season in my life where I've been overcoming doubts in how I handle being a mother and wife.  It feels like it's been a looooong season.  But recently I had an encounter that has helped me change my thinking.  During praise & worship at our church I had an experience that reminded me that it's only through the awesome power of Jesus that I am able to overcome these seasons.  Because I'm a joint heir with Christ and a new creation I am designed to overcome...to succeed!  It doesn't mean I will have perfect days or perfect relationships or be a perfect person, but it does mean that every time I choose to be thankful, to walk in love and be kind to others, starting with my family first,  I will get past the feelings and doubts in challenging seasons.  That's how I do it...don't think on the challenge think on the prize!

What's the prize in my case... a happy, healthy,  all around prosperous family who loves the Lord, each other, and other people!  If that's what I want then that's what I have to show them how to be.  Finding strength in the one who has overcome it all!  Choosing life in my words, my thoughts, and my actions...that's how I do it!  And I will have plenty of opportunities to practice...even now an egg is laying cracked on the kitchen floor by curious little boys who don't enjoy their nap time.  Good stuff!