All mothers, especially multiples moms, need help sometimes. Whether it's so you can grocery shop alone or getting some quiet time to yourself you're going to need some help every now and then. But for some of us it's hard to ask for help. Maybe it's a control issue in thinking no one can do it as good as you could. Maybe it's a pride thing in thinking other's shouldn't have to reach in and help you with your stuff or you don't want a sitter in the house because the mess they'd find might scare them away! Whatever it might be the fact still remains a little help couldn't hurt. In fact, it will probably help!
A little confession...my hang up is mixture of a few things. I hesitate to ask for help because I hate pulling on others to do things for me and I feel guilty for asking...probably a pride thing I know. I'm working on it and getting better every day. But for real, sometimes I'd rather take all my kids to the grocery store or shop late at night when J gets home than ask someone to watch my kiddos. So in an attempt to overcome my hesitation to ask for help I thought of few things that have helped me in the past. Here are 5 things that have helped make it easier when I'm asking for help...
1. Plan ahead. Most people don't like being caught off guard. So do your best to give as much notice as possible when your needing help with a sitter or things like that. Also, planning ahead gives you chance to get things like your house and grocery or errand lists in order. This way you don't feel bad about the house and you utilize your time when you're out getting stuff done.
2. Just ask. All they can do is say no. You can always find someone else to help or another day to get it done. One thing I struggle with is when people say no. Don't over think their reason for declining. Just move on and it'll work out.
3. Be willing to pay. I know not everyone can pay for the extra help we all need sometimes, but with a little planning and budget tweaking most people can. There is usually no shortage of teenage girls willing to babysit. But if you're new in town check with the local churches or mom's groups. Also, there are sites that you can use to help you find a good sitter in your area, check out Care.com or Sittercity.com. Both sites have people who have had background checks and it can be a good resource.
4. Be willing to help others. The old saying "You reap what you sow" is very true. If you are always turning other moms down when they need help, you may find a lot resistance when you need help. Good news is all it takes is you helping others for them to want to help you back.
5. Be consistent. What do I mean by that? Well try to set it up where you get out once a or twice a month. Date nights, grocery trips, or just coffee alone. I have found when I slack at getting out it makes it harder for me to ask. I guess I let myself slump back to thinking those "I got this!" thoughts. Plus, it gives you something to look forward to and helps you be a better parent when you get some time away. Even it is just grocery shopping.
One more thing, don't let someone make you feel guilty for asking, including yourself. I have this one mom who is a God send when it comes to the help area. I trust her as much as I trust family. She has never made me feel guilty for asking for help, but I have tendency to make myself feel guilty. Me not her. I say this...Only you can allow yourself to feel guilty whether or not a person does it on purpose is irrelevant...it's a choice. Just like happiness and joy are choices. You know what I mean?
No of us are going to get right all the time. Sometimes we can't plan ahead when things pop up and sometimes it won't be in the budget. But be flexible and forgiving in all situations. Let yourself off the hook and start planning a day to get out of the house, alone. It's ok to ask for help. And if you have more ideas in this area let me know. I would love to hear what other parents do to get some help.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Potty Training Twins
As of this week we are a month into potty training the twins. It's not been a walk in the park. It has been hard work. Hard, messy work. Of course, I researched different ideas on how to get started. It's been a few years since we potty trained Tru. I debated on trying the whole potty train your kid in a day, three day, or week thing. I even thought about waiting until they turned 3 in the Fall. Ultimately, I knew it was time and I just had to dive in. And now a month into potty training both our boys are out of diapers and wearing big boy pants all day. I learned a few things in this process...
1.Pick a date
Clear your schedule give yourself and your little ones as many days as possible. We picked a week that was the least busiest and marked the calendar. I made sure we had plenty of groceries to mimimize trips into to town. We spent the first week at home camped out. No plans. No where to be. My focus was to be there when they were ready to go. I think by clearing our schedule it helped me to feel less stressed about the whole thing and allowed me to catch their cues as far as when they were most likely to go.
2.Be Prepared
This is a life motto for any family with multiples, right. Get the potty seats, buy the underwear, plenty of washing detergent, wipes, and stuff to clean up with. We had accidents, missed the potty completely sometimes, and went through many changes of clothing. I am finding that the less I stress about these things the better it all works out and being prepared helps with that, too. When we go out I pack at least two changes of clothes for each kiddo and carry plenty of wipes. I've always appreciated have an extra stash of kid clothes with me.
3.Don't Look Back
Once we decided to start potty training we committed to not go back to diapers. We use them for bed time, but one of my guys can make it all the way through nap time dry. Our main focus was getting good at staying dry through the day. So the moment they're up they're in underwear. When we go out, no diapers. I carry clothes with me everywhere we go.(I think I've said that already haven't I) It was not very convenient at first. It felt like a chore. But a month into it and we can go out relatively stress free. We just make sure we hit the potty before we leave, when we get to where we're going, and before we head home. It's a system that works for them. I can gladly say the diaper bill is practically gone! Oh, be sure to let other's who keep your little ones know how committed you are to potty training. It helps to have their support. I can remember working in a daycare and how when the parents and caregivers were on the same page it helped the little ones succeed with their potty training.
4. Be Positive
We celebrate little potty sucesses. More so in the beginning than now, but still we will clap and praise them when they go all on their own. We do not scold them when they have an accident. I just clean it up and tell them they'll get it next time. We set the mood in our home. When we're excited about something our kids are too!
A couples things I thought I should mention. First, when we say their prayers at night we pray for easy potty training. Literally, we say "Thank you Lord that they're bladders and bowels will be ready when we begin potty training". We've included this in their bedtime prayers since they were born. If you're a believer you know God is in all the details of our lives, even potty training our children. I know this is why we are having the success we've had with potty training. Second, have patience and be watchful. You're the parent and you know your little ones the best. There's no rule that says you have to potty train at the same time. As a mom of twins, I've learned pretty early on they are not the same people. They came out together but they don't have to do everything together. Do your research and go at the pace that's right for your little ones. Allow you and them a little slack. Potty training is like all the other milestones that they've had...they'll succeed with your gentle guidance and loving support.
1.Pick a date
Clear your schedule give yourself and your little ones as many days as possible. We picked a week that was the least busiest and marked the calendar. I made sure we had plenty of groceries to mimimize trips into to town. We spent the first week at home camped out. No plans. No where to be. My focus was to be there when they were ready to go. I think by clearing our schedule it helped me to feel less stressed about the whole thing and allowed me to catch their cues as far as when they were most likely to go.
2.Be Prepared
This is a life motto for any family with multiples, right. Get the potty seats, buy the underwear, plenty of washing detergent, wipes, and stuff to clean up with. We had accidents, missed the potty completely sometimes, and went through many changes of clothing. I am finding that the less I stress about these things the better it all works out and being prepared helps with that, too. When we go out I pack at least two changes of clothes for each kiddo and carry plenty of wipes. I've always appreciated have an extra stash of kid clothes with me.
3.Don't Look Back
Once we decided to start potty training we committed to not go back to diapers. We use them for bed time, but one of my guys can make it all the way through nap time dry. Our main focus was getting good at staying dry through the day. So the moment they're up they're in underwear. When we go out, no diapers. I carry clothes with me everywhere we go.(I think I've said that already haven't I) It was not very convenient at first. It felt like a chore. But a month into it and we can go out relatively stress free. We just make sure we hit the potty before we leave, when we get to where we're going, and before we head home. It's a system that works for them. I can gladly say the diaper bill is practically gone! Oh, be sure to let other's who keep your little ones know how committed you are to potty training. It helps to have their support. I can remember working in a daycare and how when the parents and caregivers were on the same page it helped the little ones succeed with their potty training.
4. Be Positive
We celebrate little potty sucesses. More so in the beginning than now, but still we will clap and praise them when they go all on their own. We do not scold them when they have an accident. I just clean it up and tell them they'll get it next time. We set the mood in our home. When we're excited about something our kids are too!
A couples things I thought I should mention. First, when we say their prayers at night we pray for easy potty training. Literally, we say "Thank you Lord that they're bladders and bowels will be ready when we begin potty training". We've included this in their bedtime prayers since they were born. If you're a believer you know God is in all the details of our lives, even potty training our children. I know this is why we are having the success we've had with potty training. Second, have patience and be watchful. You're the parent and you know your little ones the best. There's no rule that says you have to potty train at the same time. As a mom of twins, I've learned pretty early on they are not the same people. They came out together but they don't have to do everything together. Do your research and go at the pace that's right for your little ones. Allow you and them a little slack. Potty training is like all the other milestones that they've had...they'll succeed with your gentle guidance and loving support.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Book Review: Ministry of Motherhood
This is review has been a long time coming. From the moment I picked it up it brought light and encouragement. I personally go through times where I'm just going through the motions in motherhood and I can imagine there might be other women who can relate to that, too. This book The Ministry of Motherhood, by Sally Clarkson, has been a God send!
The book encourages us as mothers to do more than just "mother" our children, but raise them so that they will grow up to be strong and healthy in every area of their lives. She talks about how the spritual and emotional maturity of her children would not just come about because she wanted it to or just by an example of her being good. But that the "effective spiritual, emotional, social training in the lives of her children would have to be intentional and planned." And so she writes of how she and her husband began to plan and talk about gifts that they wanted to give their children that would last all their lives. She uses the acronym G.I.F.T.S. to help herself remember the spiritual priorities as their children grew up.
In the five parts of her book she covers how she and her husband worked to instill Grace, Inspiration, Faith,Training, and Service into the lives of their children. She gives examples from the Word of how Jesus taught and loved his own disciples. She points out different ways that Jesus showed and taught these G.I.F.T.S. to them. Also, she shares her own experiences from her life with her family and tells how she would use everyday opportunities to teach them these G.I.F.T.S. She never claims to have it all together or that she a perfect parent. She is real and open.
This book encouraged me to be intentional in my parenting. That our children are gifts and we shouldn't let them go to waste. The things that we teach or don't teach them now will be with them for a lifetime. Also, that we should put a plan in place with a vision that equips our children with these GIFTS for a lifetime. And that motherhood is an important job that is often taken lightly and even more often lightly esteemed. It is a ministry opportunity unlike any other and we should look at it as our first mission field.
*I received this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah in exchange for an honest review.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Ten Amazing Years!
Today marks 10 years of marriage to my best friend. We've had an amazing adventure so far. This week Jody has been posting memories on Facebook from the last 10 years of our marriage . I've loved reading each post. He inspired me to write my 10 favorite memories, which wasn't easy simply because in 10 years you can make a lot of great memories. So here they are...
1. It was a rainy December night and he came to pick me up to go out. But before we could get to the car he stopped, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He had the ring, the flowers, and a huge nervous smile. I said yes and it's been the best decision I've ever made. This memory is a treasured one. I love to replay it in my mind just like a movie.
2. Our Wedding day! Best day ever! The whole day is crystal clear in my mind. I remember waking up full of excitement and a smile on my face. All the plans and details of the day went off so smoothly. But the best part of that day was seeing Jody at the other end of the aisle. We made a promise that day in front of everyone and God that no matter what would come we would weather it together. That our love for each other was more than feelings, it was a choice and we would choose each other before any other person on this planet. We asked God to be our partner in the middle of it all and I know He blessed it.
3. We spent the first year of our marriage away from our home town. It was good for us and one of my favorite times. We spent that time getting to know each other in whole new way. We didn't have many friends near and all family was 4 hours away. We had fun together. Putting our home together, taking long drives Sunday afternoons dreaming and talking, and just hanging out together making precious memories.
4. Another time I treasure is when we lived in Cape Girardeau. The time we had in Cape was a good memory because not only had we found our groove as a married couple, we also found out we were expecting our first born. I remember the excitement that came with that. We spent our free time dreaming and talking about what being parents would be like. We began to prepare and we did it together!
5. We were married 2 years before Truitt came on the seen. We were ready to meet him and grow our family to 3! As soon as we saw him we found a new way of loving together. My favorite memory was the first week we spent together at home. Jody took off 2 weeks to be home with us and we got to bond with Tru together. We spent it crashed on the couch, keeping to a feeding and sleep schedule. It was all fresh and new and tiring. Good times!
6. While we were living in Texarkana we took a day trip to some walking trails on a Saturday. It was a cool fall day and the trees were decked out in all the their bright colors. The three of us spent the day walking the trails around a little lake laughing and talking with our 3 year old. We had a blast and bought a couple t-shirts to remember it. Still have mine!
7. One of the biggest surprises of our lives makes this list of course, our double blessings, Liam & Levi. When had our first ultrasound ,at 13 weeks, we were not expecting to see what we saw that morning in the doctors office. Twins! We spent the next 7 months preparing and praying. God not only blessed us with a healthy twin pregnancy, he blessed us with two healthy baby boys.
8. The first 3 months after the twins were born was spent feeding, changing diapers, lots of laundry, and very little sleep. Jody was amazing during this crazy fun time. After he went back to work and we started trying to get back into the swing of things. I didn't get much sleep during the week. I did the night shifts because he worked long hours. But when the weekend came he would take the night time feedings so I could go to sleep early and get a good nights sleep. I can remember getting up one night a little after midnight to find Jody holding both boys feeding them and snuggling with them.
9. Our Friday nights at home when all the chores of the day are behind us and all the boys are sleeping soundly. My favorite memories are of us hanging out together watching a funny movie, playing a board game, and just being Jody and Amber. Talking about our days and laughing together. Nothing makes better memories for me than us being together.
10. May 31st 2013. That's today I know. But today not only marks 10 years of marriage, but it also marks the beginning of the next 10. In the next 10 years we will see so many changes for our family. Our children will do a lot of growing up in the next 10 years and so will we. We will build a new layer of our marriage in the years to come. Our lives will not look like it does now in 10 years. I believe more of the best is yet to come with many more memories to be made. Today marks another chapter of all the good things God will do for us and through this us in the next 10, 20, 30, 40, or more years to come!
Jody you are my best friend, my partner in life and love. I am so thankful you asked me to marry you and that 10 years ago today you said, "Yes." These last 10 years have been the best years of my life and I'm excited to see the great things in store for the next 10!
1. It was a rainy December night and he came to pick me up to go out. But before we could get to the car he stopped, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He had the ring, the flowers, and a huge nervous smile. I said yes and it's been the best decision I've ever made. This memory is a treasured one. I love to replay it in my mind just like a movie.
2. Our Wedding day! Best day ever! The whole day is crystal clear in my mind. I remember waking up full of excitement and a smile on my face. All the plans and details of the day went off so smoothly. But the best part of that day was seeing Jody at the other end of the aisle. We made a promise that day in front of everyone and God that no matter what would come we would weather it together. That our love for each other was more than feelings, it was a choice and we would choose each other before any other person on this planet. We asked God to be our partner in the middle of it all and I know He blessed it.
3. We spent the first year of our marriage away from our home town. It was good for us and one of my favorite times. We spent that time getting to know each other in whole new way. We didn't have many friends near and all family was 4 hours away. We had fun together. Putting our home together, taking long drives Sunday afternoons dreaming and talking, and just hanging out together making precious memories.
4. Another time I treasure is when we lived in Cape Girardeau. The time we had in Cape was a good memory because not only had we found our groove as a married couple, we also found out we were expecting our first born. I remember the excitement that came with that. We spent our free time dreaming and talking about what being parents would be like. We began to prepare and we did it together!
5. We were married 2 years before Truitt came on the seen. We were ready to meet him and grow our family to 3! As soon as we saw him we found a new way of loving together. My favorite memory was the first week we spent together at home. Jody took off 2 weeks to be home with us and we got to bond with Tru together. We spent it crashed on the couch, keeping to a feeding and sleep schedule. It was all fresh and new and tiring. Good times!
6. While we were living in Texarkana we took a day trip to some walking trails on a Saturday. It was a cool fall day and the trees were decked out in all the their bright colors. The three of us spent the day walking the trails around a little lake laughing and talking with our 3 year old. We had a blast and bought a couple t-shirts to remember it. Still have mine!
7. One of the biggest surprises of our lives makes this list of course, our double blessings, Liam & Levi. When had our first ultrasound ,at 13 weeks, we were not expecting to see what we saw that morning in the doctors office. Twins! We spent the next 7 months preparing and praying. God not only blessed us with a healthy twin pregnancy, he blessed us with two healthy baby boys.
8. The first 3 months after the twins were born was spent feeding, changing diapers, lots of laundry, and very little sleep. Jody was amazing during this crazy fun time. After he went back to work and we started trying to get back into the swing of things. I didn't get much sleep during the week. I did the night shifts because he worked long hours. But when the weekend came he would take the night time feedings so I could go to sleep early and get a good nights sleep. I can remember getting up one night a little after midnight to find Jody holding both boys feeding them and snuggling with them.
9. Our Friday nights at home when all the chores of the day are behind us and all the boys are sleeping soundly. My favorite memories are of us hanging out together watching a funny movie, playing a board game, and just being Jody and Amber. Talking about our days and laughing together. Nothing makes better memories for me than us being together.
10. May 31st 2013. That's today I know. But today not only marks 10 years of marriage, but it also marks the beginning of the next 10. In the next 10 years we will see so many changes for our family. Our children will do a lot of growing up in the next 10 years and so will we. We will build a new layer of our marriage in the years to come. Our lives will not look like it does now in 10 years. I believe more of the best is yet to come with many more memories to be made. Today marks another chapter of all the good things God will do for us and through this us in the next 10, 20, 30, 40, or more years to come!
Jody you are my best friend, my partner in life and love. I am so thankful you asked me to marry you and that 10 years ago today you said, "Yes." These last 10 years have been the best years of my life and I'm excited to see the great things in store for the next 10!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Review: Spelling City
About a month ago I posted that we, Tru & I, would be reviewing SpellingCity.com. So what is SpellingCity.com? Basically it's an online spelling and vocabulary interactive tool for students and teachers, as well as parents and homeschooling families. I was given the opportunity to try out the premium package. Once I was set up I could just put in Tru's spelling list for that week, then add assignments correlating the weeks spelling list. I started him with a teaching assignment going over each word and it's spelling, then set him up to do a couple of their games, a practice test and a final test. We used it with two sets of his spelling word lists last month. Tru found most of the games fun and I think they were helpful. Every time we used it he enjoyed it and infact he completed his spelling without any complaining...always a plus!
On the teacher/parent side of things it allows you to set up multiple students each with their own assignments as well as tracking their progress. SpellingCity.com also offer multiple games with random lists using vocabulary with things like history and places, too. All in all I was very pleased with everything SpellingCity.com had to offer. As a homeschooling family I think it would be a great addition to any curriculum plan. The premium package is 29.99 per year for a up to 5 students, but you can use their basic package for free. I pulled this list from their site to show what you would have available to you with each package...
As you can see both options would be a helpful tool to any homeschooling family! If you're interested check them out at SpellingCity.com and see all the great things they have to offer!
**I've been given a Premium Membership to VocabularySpellingCity.com for a candid, personal, online review.
On the teacher/parent side of things it allows you to set up multiple students each with their own assignments as well as tracking their progress. SpellingCity.com also offer multiple games with random lists using vocabulary with things like history and places, too. All in all I was very pleased with everything SpellingCity.com had to offer. As a homeschooling family I think it would be a great addition to any curriculum plan. The premium package is 29.99 per year for a up to 5 students, but you can use their basic package for free. I pulled this list from their site to show what you would have available to you with each package...
**I've been given a Premium Membership to VocabularySpellingCity.com for a candid, personal, online review.
VocabularySpellingCity helps students study word lists using 25 different learning activities such as Sentence Unscramble, Handwriting Practice, WordSearch, and FlashCards. Parents can create their own spelling lists, find published lists already available on the site, or use any of dozens of free teaching resources on topics such as Synonyms and Figurative Language. Be sure to come back in three weeks to read about my experience.
There might be more free memberships available for bloggers. If you're interested, find out how you can review VocabularySpellingCity.com.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Twinsie Tuesday: Two at Play
I think one of my favorite aspects of being a mother of twins is getting to watch them interact with each other. I love watching them chat together, take up for one another, or helping each other out. Really, watching any of our boys get along and walk in love with each other brings tremendous joy! So when I was washing dishes one afternoon and the twins began a friendly game of roll the pizza roller on the kitchen floor I had to document such a moment. They were sharing and taking turns!
Sharing. Taking turns. It's a big deal! One would receive the rolling pin, giggle, and then roll it back. I even attempted to get them to pose together...
and apparently that was too tall of an order! They are much too busy to stand still let alone at the same time! All of this playing together lasted maybe 5 minutes then they moved on to something else. And even though a small disagreement ensued not long after I'm thankful these moments are happening more and more and lasting a little longer each time. One of our prayers is that all of our boys grow up to be lifelong friends with each other and it's always nice to catch a glimpse of it!
and apparently that was too tall of an order! They are much too busy to stand still let alone at the same time! All of this playing together lasted maybe 5 minutes then they moved on to something else. And even though a small disagreement ensued not long after I'm thankful these moments are happening more and more and lasting a little longer each time. One of our prayers is that all of our boys grow up to be lifelong friends with each other and it's always nice to catch a glimpse of it!
Friday, February 22, 2013
A Beautiful Vue: Tea for Two
It started out tea for one, but how could I resist sharing with this sweet little guy.
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